Thursday, December 3, 2009

Insights of the Day

No walk today. The pressures of working with a lot of stressed out people got to me. If only the atmosphere of this work place reflected more closely the experience it offers to visitors!

But even so, I did realize a few things today through the sideview mirror of life:

1) I am tired of hearing the same conversation discussed over and over and over again. Talking and making plans to make a difference is getting tedious. It is too often a matter of spinning in circles, in so many matters. If there is no proposed action at the end of a discussion, then I begin to wonder what the point of the discussion really was. (Referring specifically here about discussions that aim to change the world...there are many discussions whose inherent worth is in the connections that are formed in the present.)

2) My girls require different kinds of interactions, and I need to spend one-on-one time with both of them. I find spending time with Camille both stimulating and fun, as she is at an age where our conversations are both deep and interesting, but I fear I have neglected Elisa--being so frustrated with her just-turned-3 year old whininess. With Elisa, another kind of interaction is needed. Her concentration isn't quite there yet, but what we can share is lots of cuddling and silliness. I curled up in bed with her to read/sing a modern version of "Froggie Went A Courtin'". We laughed and tickled. She loved our silly talk about rat pudding, and asked "why?" about fifty million times. (No action plan from our "conversation", but definitely time well spent!)

3) Report cards mean very little to me. Is it strange that my first impression upon receiving Camille's report was a sense that something was missing? Even as we have practiced skills, I have been measuring my child's growth this past year in the intangibles--curiosity, creativity, compassion. So, while I am very happy that she is learning to read--I am even happier that she WANTS to learn to read. That she loves stories and books. I may never get her to slow down enough to write her name legibly...but seeing her spend hours at the craft table with pens and markers is progress enough. Marks of inconsistency tell me more about areas she might feel a lack of confidence than they do about her intelligence. I know my child's intelligence, despite what the scorecard may say. But mostly I know her soul.

These moments of self-realization in my day are just stepping stones in a daily life. What would a life be without these countless little insights?

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